Overview
The dog you already know.
Four legs. Standard coat. The conventional configuration.
The dog is the standard Companion Systems product. It is a dog. It has four legs, which is the number of legs that dogs have. It has a coat, which is the covering that dogs have. It has 42 teeth, which is the number of teeth that dogs have. It walks around your home, because that is what dogs do.
It does these things at a volume, a speed, and a frequency that it selects. You do not select these things. The dog selects these things. This is not a design choice. This is the nature of the product. We considered offering a configuration interface. The dog does not support a configuration interface. The dog operates autonomously. We do not know what "autonomously" means in this context. The dog does.
The dog ships with four legs: two front, two rear. This provides stable locomotion across flat surfaces, carpets, and the transition between them. The four-leg platform enables the dog to move between rooms in your home, which is something you may or may not want it to do.
Unlike dog SE, the standard dog can move independently between up to three rooms before requiring a rest period. This makes it suitable for hallways, open-plan living spaces, and homes where the dog is not expected to remain in one location. If this describes your home, the dog is a reasonable choice.
The four legs also enable the dog to follow you from room to room. Whether this is a feature or a behaviour depends on whether you wanted to be followed. The dog does not consult you on this. The dog follows you because you moved and movement is a trigger for following. We did not design this trigger. The trigger was present in the legacy architecture. We left it in because removing it would require restructuring the dog’s entire motivational system, and we are not confident we could put it back together.
02
3-room
mobility.
Covers the essentials.
The standard dog is capable of navigating between up to three connected rooms. This covers the typical kitchen-living room-hallway configuration found in most UK homes. If your home has more than three rooms, the dog will select three and treat the others as external to its operational range.
The dog does not announce which three rooms it has selected. You will discover this over time. The process of discovery is part of the dog ownership experience and is not considered a defect.
03
Standard
coat.
The coat that comes with it.
The dog features a standard coat in one of several colour options. The coat sheds at a rate that we would describe as normal for a dog. If you have owned a dog before, you will not be surprised by the amount of hair. If you have not owned a dog before, you may be surprised, but this is not grounds for a return under our warranty terms.
The coat requires no special maintenance beyond occasional brushing, which the dog may or may not tolerate depending on its mood, the time of day, and whether it has recently been brushed.
The dog ships with 42 teeth, which is the standard dental configuration for a dog. This includes canine teeth, premolars, and the four carnassial teeth responsible for the single most expensive routine dental procedure in UK veterinary practice. We mention this not to alarm you but because we believe in transparent product specifications.
The teeth are fully functional and will be applied to anything the dog considers chewable. The dog considers most things chewable.
05
Selective
audio.
Barks when it decides to.
The standard dog features a selective audio system. It will bark at some things and not at others. You will not always agree with its choices. It may bark at the postman. It may not bark at the postman. It may bark at nothing. The audio system operates independently and is not configurable by the owner.
The system uses a proprietary threat-assessment algorithm that we do not understand and did not write. The algorithm evaluates incoming stimuli against a set of criteria that includes: size, speed, proximity, novelty, whether the stimulus has previously been barked at, whether the stimulus deserves to be barked at, and an additional factor that we have been unable to identify after extensive observation. We have documented the outputs. We cannot predict the inputs. The dog barks. This is all we know.
What’s included
In the box.
Included
- dog (1x)
- Standard food bowl
- Welcome leaflet
Not included
- Collar
- Leash
- Premium food bowl
- Tennis ball
- Loyalty
- Loyalty certificate
- Welcome letter
Accessories and add-ons are available separately from the Accessories page. Loyalty is available as a separate purchase and is not a physical accessory, although it feels like one.
Technical specifications
Full specs.
Reviews
What dog owners say.
“The dog is fine. It is a dog. It does dog things. It walks around. It lies down. It gets up and walks around again. Sometimes it sits in the kitchen and stares at me while I cook, which is either companionship or a request for food, and I have never been able to determine which. It barked at the delivery driver last Tuesday and then did not bark at the delivery driver on Thursday, which suggests the barking is discretionary. I wish I understood the criteria.”P.W., Nuneaton — dog, 11 months
“The dog completed a circuit of my kitchen at 3:14am on Wednesday. It then repeated the circuit. It then repeated the circuit a third time. It then lay down on the kitchen floor and went to sleep. I was awake for all three circuits. I do not know what prompted them. The dog does not appear to know either. We have reached a mutual understanding that some things are beyond explanation. I am giving this five stars because the dog has not done it again and I choose to believe this is because it learned something.”P.W., Nuneaton — dog, 11 months (follow-up review)
Order
Get your dog.
From £349. Available Q3 2027. Free delivery within mainland UK. Additional charge for Scottish Highlands, Northern Ireland, and anywhere requiring a ferry.
The new dog is a living animal and is not a consumer electronic. Companion Systems Ltd is registered in England and Wales. Part of joel2.com.