Support

Returns Policy

If the dog is not what you expected, we understand. The dog is rarely what anyone expected.

Overview

You have 14 days from the date of delivery to return your dog. The dog must be in its original condition: alive, reasonably clean, and in possession of all shipped components.

“Original condition” does not mean “the condition you found most convenient.” It means the condition in which the dog was delivered. Companion Systems reserves the right to assess whether the dog has been modified, mistreated, or taken to a beach.

Original condition defined

For the purposes of a return, “original condition” means:

  • Alive. The dog must be breathing. Companion Systems does not accept returns of deceased dogs. A deceased dog is not a return; it is a situation. We do not handle situations. We handle returns.
  • Mobile. The dog must be mobile within the specifications of its model. Dog SE must be capable of standing on two legs. The dog and dog Pro must be capable of standing on four legs. If the dog is standing on a different number of legs than it was shipped with, please refer to the section on modifications below.
  • Biologically complete. All biological components must be present and undamaged. This includes, but is not limited to: ears, eyes, nose, tongue, and tail (where applicable). Dog SE does not ship with a tail. If your dog SE has grown a tail, do not return it. Call us. We have questions.
  • Coat. The coat should be in factory condition. Standard wear is acceptable. “Standard wear” does not include dye, glitter, or the application of any substance not intended for canine contact.
  • Teeth. All shipped teeth must be present. Dog SE ships with 28 teeth. The dog and dog Pro ship with 42 teeth. If you are unsure how many teeth your model should have, count them. If you are unsure how to count teeth in a dog, offer a treat and wait.

Modified dogs

If the Additional Leg Pair or other hardware has been installed, a 25% restocking fee applies. This fee covers the cost of uninstallation, assessment, and the emotional processing required by the technician who must remove legs from a living animal that is looking at them.

Professional uninstallation is recommended. Ideally, the uninstallation should be performed by the same technician who installed the hardware. If that technician is no longer available, another technician can perform the procedure. They may sigh during the process. This is not a reflection on you. This is a reflection on the procedure.

Loyalty complications

If the loyalty feature has been activated, the dog may exhibit attachment behaviours during the return process. These behaviours may include:

  • Orienting towards you when you move towards the door
  • Following you to the door
  • Looking at you in a way that makes the entire transaction feel like a moral failing

Companion Systems accepts no liability for these behaviours. They are a documented side effect of the loyalty module.

Return statistics

Three customers have initiated a return. Zero have completed one.

We consider this a successful policy.

How to initiate a return

Contact support. Support operates from the Companion Systems office in Nuneaton, above Comfort Underfoot (the carpet shop).

Knock twice. Do not ring the doorbell. The doorbell is connected to nothing. It has never been connected to anything. We are not sure why it is there.